Reflections

i am HIS by Mary Lambert

It took quite a while to figure out the title to use for my new CD. After a LOT of back and forth in my brain, it ended up coming from my heart. I wanted to communicate my love and devotion to my God through the title – “i am HIS”.

This project has very personal meaning. Each song was created by an experience that moved me in some way. Some happy, and some potentially soul-crushing trials. Many times over the years, situations in life inspired in me the need to express my emotion through words and music.

When the songs for this project were almost completed and ready to take to the studio to record, I realized I had no song introducing who I was, or rather, why I am His. I began life as a baby girl, the apple of my dad’s eye. I’m happy to claim that I am his. My husband came next and I am deeply grateful for the good man and husband that he is. I made a solemn covenant to join with him, so I am also his. There has always been something in me. I believed there was a God. My life would not be the same without this knowledge and the relationship I have developed with Him over the years. There has been much wrestling with the Spirit and active engagement on my part to know this. This is the most important relationship for me to declare – “i am HIS”

I was born the sixth child to Bill and Evelyn Thompson – five boys back to back, and finally they had a girl. I was one month overdue, 5 lbs, 12 oz and rolling in fat. Mom says the doctors and nurses had never seen a baby so tiny with so many rolls. I was born at 10:30 p.m. on my birth date. My dad was working an overtime shift at Ontario Hydro, but he came home just in time to take my mom to hospital, where I was born about 30 minutes later.

Two sisters followed, so there were eight of us eventually. With eight kids, it’s natural that we learned to fend for ourselves quite a bit (I did fly by the seat of my pants growing up). I grew up playing with my brothers, and wanting to be doing everything they were doing. This was, quite naturally, annoying to them. I was not really a girly girl – even though my mom wanted that. I can remember being forced to wear curlers so I could have ringlets, and not liking it one little bit!

As a little girl, I would climb trees, do gymnastics in my back yard (I could walk on my hands for a really, really, really long time), and sing songs, create parades and skits for all of the neighbours to enjoy. We had a pool in our backyard so I spent summers swimming, fipping, diving and playing.

As a teenager, I was loud, obnoxious and totally boy crazy. Despite this, I always knew I could go to God in prayer to receive guidance for my life. I knew He was there for me and listened and answered my prayers. I was exposed to this concept at a young age, thankfully. It’s hard to maneuver life and things could have turned out so differently for me without this knowledge of having a loving Heavenly Father who knew what is good for me, despite myself.

I don’t even remember meeting my future husband as a child, as his family would travel from Montreal to Muskoka in the summers. We met at church when his family would attend each Sunday. I smile when I remember that after church my two cousins and I would chase him round and round outside. (I guess I finally caught him) When his family moved to Muskoka at the age of 15, I had a BIG crush on him. Things fizzled, but the feelings came back later, when it came time to think about marriage. I married my childhood crush. Marriage is good, but it isn’t always easy. This loud, obnoxious little girl had a lot to learn, but thankfully my husband and God saw the potential.

We had three children together, and then six years later, we decided to adopt a little girl. This decision was a miracle, but it will be described in another blog (for the song Adoption Means…) Motherhood was also good, but hard. If I can get my sleep, I can cope with just about anything. Life was a blur when the kids were young. They are all married now with families of their own and I love the relationships we have built with each of them. We currently have eleven grandchildren and I’m good with that. No pressure for any more! (but I would love them)

Understanding how God communicates with me personally, has been something I’ve learned over the years through the ups and downs in life. Even the times when I didn’t feel like I deserved His answers, I could feel His love and gentle kindness as I turned to Him in prayer. These prayers have come in many different ways for me. In one of my greatest times of need, a friend landed on my doorstep, with chocolate in hand, minutes after a gut-wrenching, heartfelt prayer – this person became one of my treasured friends in life and a much needed support to help me through a tough time. God answers our prayers in ways we will understand – sometimes through other people, sometimes through thoughts, feelings, impressions or manifestations that are powerful that we cannot deny. If we come to Him and ask, my experience has been, there is always some sort of answer. On two separate occasions when I have struggled with decisions I’ve made and have come to Him with my confusion and distress, I have felt His gentle, personal, and unconditional love as memories and powerful feelings flooded through me. He strengthens me and makes me more than I can be on my own. Having faith is a powerful thing. Words cannot fully express how deeply grateful I am to know that “i am HIS”.

Mary Lambert

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